A note before reading – This ended up being a longer piece than I had anticipated and though I hope you find it interesting I certainly don’t want you to feel I am being preachy so apologies if this is what happens. Please enjoy.

---

As a self-proclaimed ‘dreamer’ who really did believe all you needed was hard work, the fallout from Lance Armstrongs final capitulation to the USADA left me red-faced and angry.

Red faced because I had to admit that Mrs Rouleur had been right all along (we had argued about this often over the years when watching cycling). Actually in hindsight I am almost always exclusively wrong (apparently) so I am not sure why the red face but still….

Anger though, well isn’t that a bit much? He wasn’t a friend, and he didn’t beat anyone I knew personally so why the extreme emotion? Well as Mrs Rouleur likes to point out I am first and foremost a drama queen so there is that, but more importantly it’s the mockery of a dreamer.

I will happily and openly admit I fit this description perfectly, I am a Grade A, 100% dreamer. Grand plans come and go, ideas formulate only to flitter away, but the dreaming always continues. However, the admission of drug use and far more importantly all that went with ‘The Armstong Lie’ (threats, bullying, power trips and back handers) made a mockery of my openness to embrace others dreams too. I honestly believed that the man who won the Tour de France seven times, after having survived cancer, not only did so clean but did so whilst being a good and decent human being. Oh how wrong I was.

Of course, I have other ‘Heroes’ in the sport I look up to who I am confident rode/ride clean (Wiggins, Quintana, Cavendish, The Yates Twins, Thomas, Sagan, Evans to name but a few) and there are many legends of the sport still with their reputations largely untarnished but it was the circumstance with which Armstrong managed to achieve his feats that made him so special, and even more galling when the rug was finally pulled away.

I must say then that what I am about to put down is not something I ever thought I would write. Here goes, are you ready?…….. Should Lance really be the pariah he has become?

‘YES HE SHOULD!! I hear you scream at the computer screen as your mouse cursor searches for the unfollow button to this blog, and I agree I really do. The man should just stay away from cycling (when he rode with Geoff Thomas at this years ‘One Day Ahead’ charity ride I just wanted to scream), and further a number of cycling publications need to stop wasting column inches on him when there are so many more worthwhile cyclists who don’t get the publicity they deserve (and don’t even get me started on the near non-existent coverage of womens cycling in some of these magazines, some other time perhaps!).

But, But, despite this, please wait, please, come on, just, just here me out.

Whilst strolling back to our hotel from the Nou Camp a few weeks ago whilst on a stag do (yes I got to watch a game at this haloed ground and it was AWESOME) I discussed with a friend his thoughts on the Texan.

He explained he hated the fact Lance was so vilified, yet as I was firmly at the front of this queue I quickly disagreed, but before I could express why, my friend had steamrolled over me as he is often won’t to do (don’t worry he will like being described like that) and stopped me before my epic rant could take hold.

How did he do this you ask?? Well let me explain. My friend (who is a few years younger than me) is a cancer survivor. Diagnosed with spinal cancer a few years ago (and with a prognosis of no more than 12 months if they didn’t act fast) he underwent 3 rounds of surgery, multiple treatments, and radiotherapy followed by long and painful months of rehab and physio. I am thankfully able to tell you that he has now been given the all clear and is working his way to his dream career in corporate law (somebody has to do it!)

He explained to me that whilst undergoing his various treatments he sought out information from others who had gone through the same experiences and unsurprisingly as a big lover of sports he found Lance Armstrongs autobiography. He didn’t pick it up for the cycling aspects (he is not like you and I in that he doesn’t understand the joy of two wheels) but for the story of Lance’s journey from diagnosis, to treatment and recovery.

He quietly discussed with me that in the hard times when he felt dreadful and unable to even really move, this book gave him hope and he took encouragement from the fact that Lance was able to go back to elite sports. As something of an elite sportsman himself (well 6-a-side football perhaps) it meant a lot to read that, and it gave him mental strength to keep on when the going got (very) tough.

Now of course, I should make very clear that I hadn’t forgotten what Lance had to go through nor what he has since been able to do for charity with the formation of his Livestrong foundation but what I had lost sight of after the fallout of ‘Lancegate’ and what I hadn’t appreciated was what his journey represented for other survivors such as my friend.

Solely as a cancer survivor, Lance Armstrong even now represents a source of hope for those starting down the long and hard road of treatments, hardships and hopefully remissions and we the cycling fans who rightly feel let down by the cheating should never forget this.

Interestingly when I explained that my main problem with Lance was not the multitude of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) he consumed but more to do with the bold faced lies, bullying, bribes and corruption that went hand in hand with Armstongs trailblazing, my friends interest was peaked. I discussed with him the almost finacially ruinous attack on the 1st (and only) american winner of the Tour De France, Greg Le Mond, the personal attacks on the Andreu’s, David Walsh, Paul Kimmage and Emma O’Reilly and the bullying of Christophe Bassons and Filippo Simeoni to name but a few, and summarised that these were the reasons why I cannot stand him.

Whilst with the above I was in no way attempting to convince my friend to find another role model I hoped to tell a story that perhaps people who don’t follow cycling so much may not know (and so it proved for my friend at least). However, equally by sharing with me his deeply personal experiences of his struggles my friend opened my eyes to realise that whilst in pure cycling terms Lance will be forever tarnished  and should NEVER be invited in from the cold, in terms of a beacon of hope to sufferer’s of this most horrible of diseases he is inspirational.

And this is something that I, nor you should ever lose sight of.